The Paula Deen Scheme


In the most non shocking news since Ricky Martin being gay or the untimely death of Amy Winehouse, it has been rumored that Paula Deen has been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. The internet is a buzz with this story (that has not been confirmed by Deen’s people as of this posting) and the jokes are a flying. The down low is that Deen has been diagnosed and will now be a spokeswoman for “Novartis drug that treats the disease”. Novartis has denied the claim and Paula herself will address the rumors on the Today Show this Tuesday with former fat-ass Al Roker.

This whole story is sounding like more internet hooey (sorry for the foul language), but if it was true I think this would have been the greatest scheme in the history of celebrity. Deen comes out of nowhere and gets a nation hooked on cholesterol laden recipes teeming with butter and deep fried goodness. The fat get fatter and the Deen empire is established. She makes her money for the better part of a decade and then gets diagnosed (or does she?) with diabetes. She signs a deal with a medication and starts selling new cookbooks and pills for all of the fat lemmings that blindly fell off of her buttery cliff.

We’re not sure what will comes of this story, but in the meantime here is a link to some of Deen’s WORST (but delicious looking) recipes including a… Kripsy Kreme burger. Ew.


(via US Magazine)

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